BEING RADICAL!!

Today I heard a sermon I thought was specifically delivered for me... I heard every word and absorbed it like a dry sponge would absorb a drop of water... I literally felt as if my brain was a sponge.. anyways... some really thought provoking words.. and then here are the electrical impulses from my brain converted to some chain of words...

Jesus was a radical person... I believe he still is because he claims that he is the one who doesnt change. He stood and died for what he preached and practiced. He was not afraid to unleash his anger. He was not afraid to speak out against what he didnt approve of. He was outspoken. He wanted the world to know what he stood for. He wanted to make changes.. thats what being radical is all about. He was against legalism in the society prevalent at that time, and I believe he doesnt appreciate the legalism we see in our contemporary society either. We cannot be conservative Christians,we have to be radical. We have to act and start practicing what we believe in. Do we believe in Jesus Christ? Do we believe in the many rules and regulations laid down by our churches of today? The many variants in the name of denominations that we follow as modern Christians have their doctrines and then there are rules of conduct. Sometimes I feel, they are more like laws.. and we tend to follow them,which is not bad in most situations,and then there are times when these laws govern us when love should be the law.

A lot of times I find myself thinking of what would Jesus do.. in certain situations and circumstances.. and i find myself trying to decipher his personality and character from a psychological point of view and then sort of weigh his actions according to what i think I've found out.. He's not an easy person to walk with.. mostly he doesnt deal with things the way many of us would.. I dont want to say i know what his nature is.. because I dont know a lot.. but I have tried to take that image of him as GOD aside for the time being and focus on him as a human being who's walked this earth.. then it becomes easy for me to relate with him.. and try ... to be radical in his manner..

This is only the beginning... there are miles n miles to be covered... the journey I've embarked upon.. there are endless possibilities with him... and one thing I've found out is that if u walk with him.. you are nothing but radical.. changes happen with him.. and for good..

Aaarrgh!!!

Its almost 3 in the morning and I have to go to church.. I havent slept.. My head hurts... and my eyes are almost nystagmic... I hate the fact that we need to sleep.. i wish we could go on and on without sleeping and everything was still ok... I wish we could have pimpleless faces even after sleepless nights... I am so depressed... really depressed because I havent had a good sleep for the longest time.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh!!

Prayer..

I am reading a book by Bill Hybels - Too busy not to pray.. a book about prayer... I've read this book while I was in college.. in LHMC... Mark Delaney lent it to me and I lost it because I passed it on... and this time,it is Celine who's LENT it to me.. I am determined not to lose it this time... well.. thats not the important thing is...

My trouble with prayers is that unless it is something more or less equivalent to a miracle that I need.. I dont usually pray with my heart.. the chapter that I read talk about not praying because we think that GOD is incapable to doing things... I dont have that problem.... My problem is that I do believe that GOD can do everything.. my problem is that I usually assume he will not want to give me what I ask for so a lot of times I end up praying without actually hoping to receive what I am asking for unless I am asking him to make me pass an exam ( in that case, I summon all the faith in the deep caverns of my soul...ha ha ha)... The trouble is that he knows everything and can do anything.. and most of all,he knows what's best for us... so he ends up answering our prayers so as to suit what is best for us and not necessarily what we want or what we asked for...

I am a restless person.. I have realized this world is never going to be peaceful.. there will be wars.. people will die and it will be horrible.. and then there are the personal tragedies ... heart-matters... and then more of them.... I cant wait for the day I will die... the day I will have the Sweet Escape from the troubles of this world and then I will see the one I am praying to face to face... but before that... there are miles to go... millions to meet... and then .... there are fields ripe with harvest.... wheeeeeeeeeeee